Whatever life throws

I was out to eat with brooke and others. I went downstairs of the restaurant to check on my food, when I heard this girl comment about a local resisdent, which happened to by my uncle, who was using all water from their rain harvester. She commented on how she didn’t get it, and thought it was stupid. I of course, chuckled to myself as I walked back up the stairs and muffled, “What an idiot.” (Such a thing I would say) Anyways, a scottsdale mom with blonde hair and fake breasts heard my comment and decided to say, “That’s sexist.” She obviously didn’t know the meaning of sexist haha so I said, “How is that sexist?” (very simple talk, I know) She turned around, stood up and started yelling about how I am rude and how I didn’t know who I was dealing with. I on the other hand started yelling to her why the nice young lady over to the left was an idiot. My argument seemed highly valid. If the girl can’t see the importance of sustainability and conservation then shes an idiot in my opinion. The blonde lady kept yelling absurd things not even related to the agruement about how I should be scared of her because shes important. So for kicks and giggles, I threw in “Just because you have money doesn’t make you any better than any of us, and it certainly doesn’t make me scared of you so you can just shut the fuck up now”
During this whole screaming fest, theres a younger guy appearing the be around the same age as me that is cracking up in the corner and understanding my thoughts exactly. I would briefly smile at him to confirm this was all a big joke. The lady was appalled by my statement and could no longer find words to scream. I continued to my table upstairs and finished a lovely meal with my great friends.
The End.

The newest addition to my dress collection. :D

I don’t care where I end up, who I marry, or what I do. The only thing I will make sure of, is that I have one wall, one studio space, that I can do whatever the hell I want to it. It will look chaotic and messy but thats the only thing I want to myself without having to feel bad for it being messy.

I’m writing this because I want to be real with people. I want to be open and put my heart out. I’ve put guards up for much too long and to be honest, I don’t think anyone knows my life. I’m tired of keeping my thoughts in my head, because my mind fights itself.

I realized tonight that if something were to happen to me, I don’t think anyone would even realize for about a week. And that’s sad. I am a pretty independent person in the way that I think and act (not financially, thanks to my gracious parents) because I got so used to people letting me down that I decided I only needed myself, and no one else. For the longest time, I would imagine my life in the future and it was always me and only me. That scares me now. I always thought I would be fine being alone; moving away where no one knew me, and just building a new life. But lately I realize that’s not what I want. I have a fear that I’ll always be alone or that there is no one out there for me. What makes it worse is all the cute little couples out there getting married and what not. I always think to myself, “What do they have that I don’t or what’s wrong with me” and yeahyeah nothings wrong with me, whatever, but it’s the thought that scares me. I’ll never change who I am to be something I’m not, but hopefully who I am is good enough.

I don’t want you to reply. I just want you to know me.